The Human Condition
by teampink1986
Summary: Ryou has absolutely nobody he can rely on. With his mental state declining, his interest in life is fading away. But he and his other half a lot more in common than he might ever expect. Takes place after the series ends, slight AU where Ryou keeps his millennium ring. Rated T for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Rating: I guess T because later on there'll be stuff like mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts and maybe some violence, but nothing major. Just a warning for later chapters!

Paring: Ryou/Bakura (It will happen later on! Just kind of hinting at it for now)

A/N: I apologize in advance for any ooc-ness or getting facts wrong, this story slightly deviates away from cannon and takes place after the last arc where everyone goes to bury their millennium items. I always liked the idea that Ryou didn't take part in that and kept his ring, so that's what this is about! Also, this is more of an angsty story, so if that's not your thing, don't read! Not sure how long this will be, but I will work on more chapters. And do we even need to say we don't own Yugioh anymore?

For whatever reason, Ryou dreaded human interaction. He absolutely hated dealing with people on any level. If he could have his way, he would stay inside his apartment forever and never worry about the outside world. But that was completely unrealistic. There wasn't really anything appealing about socializing or interacting to him.

Ryou walked home from school, remembering he had to get groceries. That could wait till later; he was exhausted, as he hadn't slept for two days. The worst part was that he didn't know why. It wasn't like he had stayed up late doing anything, or that he was sick, or anything like that. He just could not sleep, no matter how hard he tried or how early he went to bed. Because of this, school was getting harder and harder for him. He was sleeping less and less, and his grades were falling. He always got good grades despite not being interested in school. It used to come naturally to him. But lately, he just didn't care. When he had left school minutes earlier, Ryou passed by his friends, or what he thought were his friends. They probably saw him there, but nobody made any notice of it. They just carried on like normal, forgetting he existed for the moment. Ryou hardly cared. He never felt much of a personal connection with any of them - even though Yugi was also a holder of a Millennium item - and they never really seemed to connect with him, either. In fact, he felt annoyed that they all ended up in the same class. Ryou proffered to be alone.

But something bothered him about the fact that they had ignored him. Somehow, he felt responsible for it. That was the feeling he hated the most; probably something he held onto from his childhood. When Ryou was a child, he dreaded being caught doing even the smallest, most forgivable mishaps. Of course every child is scared of being punished or caught doing something bad, but Ryou's fear was far more extreme than most. There was never any abuse or even mistreatment going on, but Ryou experienced full blown panic attacks as a child. Even if it was just his mom catching him eating a cookie before dinner, he felt extreme waves of guilt and anxiety over the smallest things. This caused him lots of problems as a child, as he constantly cried and wanted to be alone. He felt like a very bad boy, the worst of them all, and nothing except simply riding out the feeling would stop it.

That's what he felt like as he saw people that he thought were his friends ignore him. A bad boy. He wished he knew what was wrong, what he did to drive them away. Whatever it was, he knew it was his own fault, even if he never liked them much anyway. He loathed upon loathed imperfections within himself; unfortunately, he no longer had the fortitude to care anymore. He was utterly beat, exhausted.

Finally, he reached his apartment complex. After the exhausting task of walking up the stairs to reach his home, Ryou wanted nothing else but rest. He promised himself he'd just take a short nap and finish his homework; he was trying hard to force himself to care about school again. Unfortunately, this was not the case, as the second he hit the bed, he was out.

Morning came quicker than he had hoped. He relished his time asleep; he just had to lay there and do nothing, and at least in his dreams, he was free of everything he hated in life. As he woke up, he remembered he had forgotten to do his homework, and he had fell asleep in his school clothes.

"At least I won't have to get ready," he said blandly, to no one.

School wasn't for another hour or so, so maybe he could afford a half hour or so of sleep. After all, he felt in no mood for breakfast. He had not felt the desire or energy to eat for at least a few days. He lay back down, pulling the covers over his head so he could hide. From what, he wasn't quite sure. Fatigue and exhaustion soon took over.

Ryou awoke with a startle when he heard his alarm go off. Although he had been asleep for at least an hour, it felt like just a few minutes. Anytime he'd even considered going to school, he couldn't muster enough physical or mental strength to do it. School was out of the question. His stomach ached at the mere thought of having to go. He'd have to stay awake enough to even pretend he was listening. He would have to actually do something, do work, pay attention, take notes; he felt mentally exhausted at the idea and told himself this was impossible. But the worst was that he would have to deal with people he barely liked. Yugi was kind, but after everything that had happened, he seemed to be distancing himself. Jounouchi was more or less the same, but then again, he had never really taken to Ryou or paid the boy much attention. Honda was polite and cheerful as always, but like Yugi, seemed to want to talk to Ryou less and less. Forget about Kaiba, he seemed to hate everyone in class and could never be considered a friend by anyone. Anzu was probably the only person out of the group who still made an effort to talk to and socialize with him. Even though their contact was strained at best, he felt he could still say she was somewhat still his friend. Ryou had chosen to not toss away his Millennium item, for whatever reason, and felt that everyone held that against him.

Ryou was utterly alone, he realized. His sister and mother were dead. His father was never home, and even when he was, their interactions were small and seemed more out of convenience. His mother died before Amane. After his sister's death, his father stayed at home less and less, always finding excuse after excuse on why he was never there. Ryou gave up after a while, realizing it would never change. Not even his family wanted him. His sister was always the one they loved, and even in death, he would never measure up to her. His parents never had cared much for him; even when Ryou was small, they never played with or paid much attention to him. They were far more interested in Amane than anyone else. How could he blame his father; Amane was always sweet and adorable, always happy and ready to please everyone around her. The pride of the family, the favorite, the one who would probably succeed and outdo everyone. He sighed sadly at the thought of her, Amane, his beautiful and unfortunately diseased sister, who was nothing like Ryou. Ryou was different, he was opposite his sister. He had no promise in life, he had nothing he was good at, and his social skills were lacking. He had no friends, no real family, no future.

Ryou laid there all morning and thought more and more about his failures; found even the smallest and most arbitrary faults within himself. The smallest imperfections seemed gigantic and made him feel even more worthless than he thought possible. Ryou tried not to cry at the realization that, should he cease to exist, nobody would probably notice, or for that matter, care. If at this very moment, he suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth, not a single soul would really be bothered. His life was utterly worthless. Curled under his blankets, alone, Ryou began to sob and was unable to stop.

There was no way he was going to be able to go to school.

Ryou woke up yet again to another empty apartment. When he was younger, he used to hope he'd wake up and his father would be home, preferably with another gift or ancient relic. Anything that proved his father remembered he existed. But that was only a fantasy he'd long abandoned now.

Instead, he lay there and stared at the ceiling. The same ceiling he always seemed to be staring at. He realized without much care that he didn't even know who lived above him. When he wasn't at school or running errands, he was inside his apartment, so socializing with his neighbors never really came across his mind. The boy sighed as he looked at his clock, realizing he had spent most of the day asleep. It was now roughly eight at night, so there wasn't much point in staying awake when most of the day was gone.

"It always seems to end up this way..." Ryou sighed, thinking about how the next day and the next after that and so on would be this way also. He closed his eyes again, feeling suddenly that he was not alone in the apartment.

He sighed in annoyance as he realized that it was just the spirit of his Millennium ring, his other half, Bakura.

"Why would I care if it was my father...?" he thought with a hint of sadness.

"Yes? What do you want?" Ryou always felt vaguely annoyed when the malicious spirit came to him, thought the visits were becoming more regular.

Bakura was his usual, nihilistic and annoying self. This never ceased. At least something in Ryou's life was somewhat constant. Bakura did not feel like answering and instead just watched Ryou with a smug look of arrogance. This used to unnerve him, but now it was just a minor issue. Ryou waited for his answer, still staring at the ceiling.

But the truth was, Bakura didn't know what he wanted. He just wanted to be there. "Is there an issue? Do I need a reason to visit you? Nobody else is going to check on you, and we both know that."

Ryou hated to admit that it was probably true. His father called maybe once a week if that to make sure nothing was going on, and his so called friends never visited, called, or texted him for anything. He was shocked when they invited him to Egypt to discard the Millennium items, which he now wished he had gone along to do.

Ryou nodded and tried to think of something else. He never fully understand why he didn't want to get rid of his ring. He just felt in the pit of his stomach that he might regret it later.

"You're here to mock me, right? Or take control of my body? go ahead. I don't care. I don't have anything for you right now." Ryou used to beg and protest at the simplest threat, but that too was a thing of the past. In the past few months, his energy and will to fight was next to nothing. "So, please just tell me what you want."

Something in Ryou was changing; even Bakura could see that. He didn't necessarily want to start a fight, but he didn't like how pathetic Ryou was being. Just laying there and taking it. Just giving up and resigning to life. Not that there was much to live for, but still, it was pathetic and quite honestly a joke.

"Fine, if that's what you want." Bakura sighed in annoyance. "Just kind of wondering what the hell you're even here for. Clearly, there's nothing for you to do here. Your family is gone, you have no friends. I'm just a little curious as to what's going on, I guess. I'm kind of bored here all by myself. You're no fun to toy with anymore."

There was nothing to say. Ryou really couldn't care less. He just wanted to go take a bath and go back to bed, and with Bakura here, that probably wasn't going to happen. But why did Bakura want to talk to him?

"I'm boring now? No fun? Since when did you think I was interesting or fun?" Honestly, what was Bakura talking about?

"It was fun to watch you mess up, watch you do something stupid. Now that you aren't doing stupid things anymore, I have no reason to help you anymore."

A sad silence filled the air as the reality of their words sunk in. The other spirits of the Millennium items had been laid to rest, so there was no need to fight or do anything anymore. The other holders of the items had all moved on. The others were all going to college or getting jobs or moving away. It wasn't like Bakura had a reason to appear or even exist anymore. This actually saddened Ryou a bit.

"Please stop. I'm honestly not in the mood for this right now." Bakura normally would have kept on taunting the poor boy, but there was something in Ryou's voice that sounded off. Ryou sounded utterly defeated, he sounded exhausted and unemotional. Dead, almost. As much as the ancient spirit loved to torment his counterpart, something in him told him to stop.

Bakura didn't press the issue, he didn't try to argue. He just sat at the edge of the bed and waited for something to happen. Waited for Ryou to show some kind of weakness, something that would give him a reason to mock the other. But nothing happened. Although he certainly felt annoyed, there was another feeling in the back of his mind. Vaguely unrecognizable, he was actually feeling worried for his other half. Something was wrong, and even though Bakura was never really one for comforting, something had to be done. Even he found it crass to just sit there and ignore it.

Still a tad angry, Bakura looked Ryou over. His eyes were faraway and looked drained of life. His skin was pale and looked sickly. His hair looked like it needed to be brushed, and his hands were shaking and looked frail. His whole entire appearance was off. Although Ryou never exactly looked happy and cheerful, this lethargic and lifeless being was not him.

"So what's gotten into you? You're acting like the world has ended."

Ryou said nothing and lay there. He did not have the energy to get into yet another argument. Nothing would ever be able to fix his problems, he felt he was damaged and broken forever. As if Bakura would understand. He understood nothing, he never cared about his troubles beyond using them as a means of exchange to get what he wanted. He was selfish, never selfless; he had never cared about Ryou's problems in the past. He never worried about him, never tried to see what was wrong. Ryou felt angry at the thought, he was sick of having to give something in return. The evil spirit promised his protection at the price of inhabiting his body; there was always a catch when it came to dealing with Bakura.

Nothing was said for the longest time. An awful and long silence plagued the room, neither persons making an attempt to talk to each other. Ryou tried to imagine what Bakura was thinking. "Probably that I'm being an unreasonable, selfish, impractical waste of space..." After all, there was no reason for him to think otherwise...

For once though, Ryou did not feel threatened or scared by the presence of the spirit. Things had changed between them, for better or for worse. What would life be like now if he had gotten rid of his Millennium ring? Would he be this depressed, this lifeless? Would Yugi and the others want to be his friend? Maybe if he had gotten rid of the item, he might have friends...he might have had a chance, instead of being locked away all the time...As he fell asleep, he thought of his life without Bakura.

As Ryou slept, Bakura tried to think about what was happening. He felt frustrated, he had no idea what to say or do that would make anything better. That further added to his frustration; he felt confused as to why he even cared. Ryou was, to him, just a host, a person whose body he could use when he needed something. Despite being each other's other halves, they did not have much, if anything, in common. Ryou had always been everything Bakura hated; weak, unable to stand up for himself, and unrealistic. What was there to really like about Ryou? He was bland and there was not much of interest there. Even his family seemed to think so.

That struck a chord with Bakura. His family. Ryou didn't have a family. His family had either died or chose to stay away from him. As much as he loved making fun of his counterpart for his countless faults and flaws, that was one thing that would go untouched in that regard.

After all, Bakura had no family either. They were also forced away from him. Even though it was thousands of years ago that they were taken away, he couldn't help but remember what that felt like. "It's not his fault," he thought, much to his surprise. His thoughts turned back to his own family, his own struggles. He was convinced that he was over that; after all, they had been dead for millenniums. He didn't even remember their names or faces, or their relationship to him for that matter. But when he thought about Ryou's family situation and his problems, he couldn't help but remember the incident that happened so long ago.

Part of the problem with Ryou having friends - well, having them once upon a time - was the fact that he had been friends with Yugi. Here was the reincarnation of the very person who ordered the death of his family and destruction of his village. Yugi was thought of to be a sweet and caring person, and everyone loved him for it. They even loved the spirit who lived inside his puzzle, Atem, the man who ruined Bakura's life. Why would Ryou be friends with him? Didn't he care about Bakura, his other half, the person who had always stuck with him, no matter what happened? "That's right," he thought with a sigh, "he doesn't care."

Bakura angrily recalled an argument he had with Ryou one time over this very thing:

"I can be friends with whoever I want to. Yugi is a great person, and unlike you, he's a real friend. Like you would know about that." Ryou had recently taken to stick up for himself - no, that didn't sound right - attempting to stick up for himself. His attempts were always weak, and few and far between.

And yet, now, Yugi hardly wanted to talk to him. Bakura almost laughed at that, had it not made him full of rage. It was so hypocritical; Ryou first telling Bakura that he could be friends with anyone, including Yugi, and then Yugi leaves him because of Bakura. It made no sense. Had his host listened to him from the beginning, things could have been prevented. It made him angry to see him with these people, these people who never cared about his dear Ryou to begin with. Like a disapproving mother, he had known all along that one day, they would abandon him. He had proved right all along, which normally satisfied him deeply, but now it made him feel empty and annoyed.

He never could do anything right for Ryou. Even when he was being bullied by students and teachers, Bakura had saved him, had prevented it from happening, and Ryou was never thankful. He remembered that during the Battle City tournaments, he repossessed Ryou's body during the duel with Atem to prevent him from being injured. Always doing things to protect him, whether it was from oncoming traffic or people harassing him. Why did he bother? He never got any thanks for it, never was appreciated for what he did. Just given the cold shoulder and told how much he's hated. Yet his so called friends constantly told him to get rid of the Millennium ring, constantly told him that the spirit within him was evil and just wanted to hurt him.

"You'd be nothing without me," he muttered bitterly.

Bakura was getting weird. He was feeling things he had no idea what to call. He felt as though his heart was being ripped apart. Who was to say that he couldn't experience pain? Although he did not recognize it as that, he knew something was wrong within himself too. He had tried so hard to steel himself from everything; always being strong, always being tough, always knowing what to do. Yes, he was angry, frighteningly so, but most of all, he felt hurt. He felt unappreciated, not good enough. That was not good - Bakura had always told himself that he was too good for such lowly and petty emotions. So much that he had managed to keep himself from feeling them. But now, it was different. So easily he was able to become hurt, stepped upon, used even. Bakura mentally noted to never let this happen ever again. But for right now, much to his dismay, he had to admit his defeat.

He lay awake for hours, trying to piece together what exactly caused this to happen. But that was mentally exhausting. He opted to lie next to Ryou - angry as he was at his counterpart - and tried to get some rest for once. He and Ryou sure did have their fair share of issues. He had never been so close to Ryou before, at least not without it being a violent or somewhat heated encounter. Ryou was peaceful and somewhat angelic when he slept; listening to his slow breathing made it easy to fall asleep.

Even ancient spirits need sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Heeeeeeeeeello everybody, I am back with more, although I am not sure how long this story is gonna be! Maybe 5ish long chapters?

Sorry for no recent updates cuz I have been busy with college OTL

So I read the reviews I had and I was glad to see that I wasn't the only one who enjoys angsty RxB stories, you all give me more confidence~ (ﾉ´∀｀*)ﾉ And spelling/grammar isn't my strongest point so I apollogize again for anything that sounds out of place or incorrect! (Like cannon vs canon, LOL)

Hmmm, anyway!

1) I forgot the specific details of who died when in Ryou's family, I always forget things like that, lol. I tried looking it up but besides a few tidbits here and there, I couldn't find out a lot about it!( ﾟ,_ゝﾟ) If anyone else knows, please let me know~ I wanna be factual!

2) I wasn't going to make him a full blown hikkikomori buuuuuuut I think I like the idea a lot so I may just run with it hehehe

I promise that eventually something more romantic or lovey will happen, but it has to build up to it! You understand right!?

ANYWAY! (Idontownyugioh)

Ryou's father had come home for the week.

It went as he had expected. A whole lot of nothing.

He didn't even ask Ryou to meet him at the airport. Or call him to let him know exactly when he was excepted to arrive. He just came home, unpacked his things, and resumed life as normal.

Either Ryou was caught at a bad time, or his father was in a worse mood than usual. There was no, "How have you been?" No "Has everything been okay?" And as much as Ryou had expected that, he could not help the fact that his heart ached when it did not happen. His father, as a matter of fact, was a perfectionist. So when he discovered that his son had been missing school for seemingly no reason - laziness, he assumed - he was livid.

There was no excuse for this. His son had never been a problem child, and he knew he haid raised Ryou better than this.

Not only was he upset over his son missing school, but his overall demenor had changed. He didn't want to talk, he didn't reply half the time, and he was lazier and messier than usual. Where most parents would be concerned at such a drastic change, Ryou's father was dissapointed at his son's sudden laziness and attitude. Truth be told, Ryou was not what most people would call intelligent - not that he was dumb or even slow - but missing _that_ much school and having _that_ low of grades was simply unacceptable.

Later that night, after eating dinner alone in his room, Ryou waited for something to happen. He knew his dad would confront him about his school issues and just about everything that had gone on since he had left. That was how it always had been; Ryou would have an issue that his father didn't ever bother looking into and no matter what happened it was always his own fault. Like he asked for any of this to happen. Whatever. His stomach hurt and he couldn't even finish his dinner. Mentally exhausted, he lay down and tried to sleep. Asleep for barely a few minutes, his father came into confront him.

As usual.

And he sat there and took it like he was exepcted to.

As his father lectured him, he started to loose focus on the matter at hand and his mind went elsewhere. Like the clothes on the floor. Where had he last worn that shirt? The last time he had gone out with his 'friends', they went to a movie or something. He remembered going home early out of fatigue instead of joining them for dinner after. Nobody really seemed to mind. But dinner - that reminded him of how he had forgot to buy groceries, which reminded him of him forgetting to go to school, which brought him back to the current situation. Ryou's father hadn't even noticed that he hadn't been listening for the past few minutes. It was easy to fake listening. All he had to do was nod his head in agreement or look mildly concerned or focus his eyes in the general direction of his father.

It went like this for a few minutes; Ryou lost in distraction, and his father lecturing him over, well, whatever he had done wrong this time. When it was all over, he was brought back to attention.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

What had he even done wrong?

Ryou had fallen asleep at his desk once again. He awoke with a slight startle, as it had been light out when he fell asleep, and was now almost completely dark out. Why did it feel so short when he slept? Hours passed like minutes for him, and he hated it. Stretching lazily, he tried to remember what he had been doing before he zoned out and fell asleep. He looked at his desk.

He had been writing to Amane again. Without remembering or realizing it.

Years ago, he could blame his memory loss and lapses in time on the spirit of the Millenium ring. But lately, he would space while talking with Bakura. Or when doing simple things like cooking and cleaning. One second, he'd be making dinner, then he'd space out. Seconds later, he was washing the same dishes he had just used to eat, without actually remembering finishing dinner or eating at all. At this point in time, there was no reason Bakura had to control his mind. Everything Bakura had worked so hard for was done with, and they had even grown somewhat friendly as a result. So there was no doubt in his mind that this was something wrong with him, something new. What was wrong? He was normally spacy and a bit ditzy, which everyone had the capacity to be at times. It was more and more frequent.

He had lost count of how many letters he actually written over the years, but the estimate would be in the hundreds. Ryou always preferred the dead over the living since he was young. Many people would surely find his hobbies abnormal and maybe even disturbing, but who cared, that was his thing and his life and it wasn't anyone else's bussiness.

The subject matter of the letters varried. Sometimes he just wrote about his day and what happened. Other times he wrote about what he envisioned the afterlife to be like (though, after everything he had been through and see, he already had a good idea). When he first started writing, he simply wrote about how much he missed her, how much life lacked without her, the same kind of things you always think when people pass on. Lately, that was not the case. Although he did mention how much she was missed, he talked less and less about her and more and more about him. His needs, his selfish needs, because nobody would listen.

He hesitantly decided to see what it was that he had written.

It was basically chicken scratch; he couldn't make any words out.

Ryou was beyond words. First of all, he hadn't written to her in a while. He had slowed down that habbit roughly around the time that he moved to Domino. After all, that was when everything started with Yugi and the other holders of the Millenium items. Second, he had fallen asleep, meaning that whatever he wrote, he hadn't writen it in his right mind. Truthfully, it didn't seem as if he wrote it at all. He knew that Bakura had nothing to do with it, which actually worried him more. If Bakura had done it, he would at least know that it wasn't something profundly wrong with himself. He felt more bothered than he had ever been in his life.

What had he been doing before that? If memory served, which lately, it wasn't, he had just finished school, and had gone grocery shopping. Bakura had been there too, in spirit at least. Maybe he had seen what happened?

"Nothing happened, nothing at all." As if reading his mind, Bakura appeared beside him, and tried to relay the events of the day. "You went to school. You were ignored by those lowly idiots, and like always, you ran your errands after school ended. You got your stuff and went, and we had dinner, and you went to your room and wrote."

So nothing had happened after all?

It didn't make much sense to him. Hours had passed, and he knew that shopping, cooking, and napping didn't take up the better part of the day. He got up to check to see if maybe Bakura had been lying; maybe they hadn't eaten dinner after all.

"You can go see for yourself, if you want." Ryou sat back down sullenly. "But I have no reason to lie to you, do I."

Utterly frustrated, Ryou craddled his head in his arms. This was not like him. He was depressed, that much he could admit, but he was not crazy. Never. Why had he written that letter? In fact, why had he written letters to begin with?

The dead would listen to anything, they couldn't talk back to you - well, that was questionable, but was Bakura really _dead?_ Amane was long gone, and Ryou heavily doubted her spirit was with him. The thought alone made him feel somewhat foolish for writing to her. But there were things, urgent, private things, that just had to be shared. Prefferably to anyone who wouldn't listen, wouldn't talk back. Wouldn't even know they were being talked to, but someone whose presence was enough.

The letters started off as something to keep him occupied because his sister, his best friend was gone. He missed talking to her everyday, missed telling her his secrets and sharing things with her. So if he pretended that she had just gone away, writing letters was the reasonable thing to do. Eventually, after he had accepted that yes, she was gone forever, he wrote them to keep himself together. His sister must be watching from heaven, or wherever you go after you die, and she would be happy to know he still loved her. Would she? What was she like again?

He started to forget who Amane really was, what she was really like. All he could remember was that she got to leave this world and go into heaven and that he was still here miserable.

Recently, the gyst of his letters were exactly that. She abandoned him. She left him behind. She must have hated him. It wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair. He hated her. He hated himself. He loved her. He missed her. He was glad he was now the only one his father could pay attention to.

Selfish, malicious, and completely irrational.

Who was he turning into? Deep down, somewhere in his heart, he knew that his sister had always loved him, that her death was awful and far too soon. It wasn't Amane's fault that she deserved the extra attention, that their parents seemed to only care about her. And even that probably wasn't true; he was never abused, just a little neglected. He felt selfish for wanting his father's attention, even though his father had lost not just his little sister, but his mother too, and was expected to work and raise a waste of space son like Ryou. That must be difficult; anybody would be as distant and cold as his father was in that situation.

The more Ryou thought about it, the worse he felt. His parents probably were not as neglegant as he remembered. He came from a well to do, privelleged family. He had many toys and posessions as a child. He was being a selfish and childish brat by complaining and moping about. No wonder his father hardly wanted anything to do with him. His father, he remembered, had left again for another expedition. Anyone would be proud to have a father like that, so why was Ryou so ashamed? Maybe because as much as he tried to deny it, he still craved the love and attention of his father, he still wished he was young enough to ask for it, but most of all, he wished that he could be the son his father could be proud of. Nobody could be proud of such a disaster.

Once again drowning himself in such self-hating thoughts, he knew that he would be unable to sleep. He could try anyway. His father was gone; he didn't have to worry about cleaning up or doing his school work or anything. That was all that could calm him down.

He changed out of his school clothes and lay in bed, forgetting that Bakura had taken to sleeping at the same time Ryou did -most likely out of boredom. What else was he supposed to do all day? Regardless, it was a harmless habbit, and at least he knew that Bakura wouldn't cause trouble at night anymore. That at least was a blessing.

But what wasn't were the issues he had been having. He hated that his thoughts would go from one thing to the next; they would go from something like his schoolwork to something like how worthless he was for being unable to complete it. When he got in that mode of thinking, he would start spacing out. Then, the spacing out lead to this horrible, numb sensation. It was around then, he realized, that he would "wake up" in confusion. Thinking about it was beyond exhausting, and Ryou did not have the energy to question the issue any further. Tommorrow he would think about it, hopefully better rested, and maybe he would even see if this was an actual thing or not. Maybe he wasn't crazy; maybe there was an explanation. That could wait for later though. Because he was completely sick of thinking this way, it seemed to be that he was constantly stuck in this train of thought.

Bakura noticed that his partner seemed lost in thought. Although he was very good at picking up on his emotions and figuring out what was wrong, he actually could not literally read his mind or emotions. What was he thinking about? "Probably something retarded," he thought, also feeling a bit exhausted. Bakura himself thought a lot, that was usually what he did all day. As he seemed to be doing every night, he stared at Ryou's half-sleeping form and thought. Clearly Ryou was troubled, as he was himself from time to time - and lately he had been. Oh well.

It seemed as though an hour passed with neither of the two talking or even acknowledgeing each other's existance.

Bakura gently shook the other, who seemed to be deep in sleep, not really caring if he had woken him up.

"Yeah?" Ryou sounded pretty annoyed.

Bakura didn't really know what he wanted, he just felt bored and somewhat lonely. He felt dumb, forgotting what he wanted to say.

"Yeah?" Yeah, he was definately annoyed now.

"Nothing," lied Bakura, who was amused at the idea of annoying someone who was trying to sleep. "I just wanted to say that you're really stupid." With this, his shook him again.

Had being locked away for thousands of years done something to his IQ? Ryou sighed, not really bothered or angry at the comment. He badly needed sleep, and he was going to get it someway or another. It took a lot to get to Ryou, because whatever bad thoughts someone else had towards him, he had probably thought them already about himself. Besides, nobody had just picked "stupid" as an insult since, what, fifth grade?

He pushed back, only annoyed with the fact that he was now very much awake and it would probably take another hour to fall back into the deep sleep he was previously enjoying. Unfortunetly, the only person who was annoyed in this situation was Bakura, who had not really anticipated being sassed back. The idea of sleeping and having somewhere to be the next day was foreign to the three thousand year old spirit.

"Ryooooooooou!" he whined, "Don't fall asleep!"

Much to his surprise, Ryou was very much asleep, dreaming about god knows what. He would be nice for once, he deciced. "I'm loosing my edge," Bakura thought with a hint of embarrassment. But he really did wonder what his host had been thinking of.

Was Ryou missing his family as badly as he was?


End file.
